Things Customers Do That I Think Are Funny

I've worked for two years for the same retail store. In all my vast experience with it, these are the things that I think are funny and/or stupid that customers say/do.

1. "Well, then can you order it?"
So often a person will call and want to know if we have this particular item. After searching our store intranet (system), I tell them no that we don't carry it. And ALWAYS comes the next question, "Well, then can you order it?" I don't know if maybe this seems like a legitimate question to you, but even before I worked retail, I would have known that you can't order something that you don't even carry. Which that is always my reply to them and for some reason, people just don't understand that.

2. "I left my coupons at home. Can I use one of yours?"
Our store doesn't have free coupons for everyone to use when they come into our store. If we did, we'd lose money. Always there are people who say they don't have theirs and can they use one of ours. Which we do have some that people who have brought their coupons have used and that we throw away after. But if we pull those out and let someone else use them, I can lose my job. So always this is my reply, "We don't keep coupons here for people to use because we mail them out and we also e-mail them. If you're able to bring them up on your phone though, I can take the code from there." And 9 times out of 10, the person will say, "Oh, well that's okay," or they will ask if they come back with their receipt and coupons can they get the money back. Which we aren't allowed to do and people get mad once I tell them that and once again I'll tell them to bring it up on their phone they'll still say oh that's okay. Really? Well, clearly your money isn't that important to you if you're too lazy to bring it up on your phone. I just think it's funny that they want to get mad but that they aren't willing to do anything they can about it.

3. The "I saw this in your store five years ago and it had a white cover and a guy on the front of the book. Do you know what that is?"
-_- Firstly, most stores do not carry merchandise that they used to carry five years ago, ours included. Secondly, how am I supposed to know what you're talking about? There are hundereds of books in the store. If you can't give a title or author, you're not going to get an answer. And most of the people who do this one are repeat offenders. If you are one of these people, just know that when you walk into the store, all the employees cringe when they see you.

4. Trying to get checked out at the register that I am counting money at.
I really don't get this one. Out of my two years there, only ONCE has a customer realized that they can't get checked out at my register because it is CLOSED. I really, really don't understand how anybody who has a brain would walk up to a register where money is being counted and think that they can get checked out. It just doesn't make any sense.

So there are four things that people frequently do at my job that I think are funny. I decided this would be better to do than a list of things customers do that annoy me. Because I can't even begin to count all of those. This was easier.